Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
