dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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