Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
