She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
