Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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