these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
