WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
