do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
