What a fucking waste of an outfit
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
