Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
