marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize