who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
