I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
