it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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