I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
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Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
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Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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