Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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