Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
