So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
