sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
