i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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