WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
