Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'd cum for enchiladas.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
