After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
