It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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