I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I smell like Dick and happiness
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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