people are starting to question the shark bite story
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
