I'm so fucking centered right now
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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