I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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