I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
