No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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