This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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