Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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