he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
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apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
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This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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