Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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