So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
