My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I am one with the molecules
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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