cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize