he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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