I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.