Betty ford says i'm here all night
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
