Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
