I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
