mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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