i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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