sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
