I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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