She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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