She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
