I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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