And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
