I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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