I think I am morally bankrupt
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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