do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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