I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
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Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
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How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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