Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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