So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
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There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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