how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
