just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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