Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
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