i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
