Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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