my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
